I am a soulful dreamer (masculine way of saying I’m a romantic). That’s my disclaimer.
Today, I am in awe of how much our spirits and very beings long for romance. With it there’s a little more bounce in our steps, a softening in our demeanor, a spark in our spirits, and a glistening in our eyes. Life is a beautiful adventure when we are vibrantly alive with romance.
Without it, our soul’s parch, our spirit’s wane, our creativity fades, and our playfulness dwindles. We easily slip into a more listless and dull state when the light of romance fades. We go through the motions until we find ourselves re-invigorated by some form of romance.
Have you ever considered how much of your life is driven by this quest for romance, even just a taste of it? We’ll sacrifice greatly, risk boldly, or build a fortress of fear because unconsciously we respect how central romance is to being human. We’ll make bad choices dating people we shouldn’t date, we’ll have a few too many drinks for a hopeful encounter, we’ll pray countless prayers for God to bring that special person our way, and we’ll travel far and wide for a taste of romance. We’ll have painfully awkward moments in the pursuit of romance (trust me I’ve had enough for three guys) such as leaving excessively long voicemails professing our affections to someone who’s not interested. And then calling back because it got truncated to continue the unwanted love ballad.
Occasionally, as a single guy, my awareness meter rises and my eyes are opened to how much the clothes I wear, the car I drive, the home I buy, the friends I seek, and the successes I pursue are driven by this daunting quest for romance. Most often though, I am oblivious to how deep the motivation goes, for it is woven into my pattern of living, so deep that it’s just normal life.
You see romance represents a deep source of significance. Our Creator endowed us with such an innate longing for significance and romance that we desire it in all the facets of our lives.
Romance is not limited to just what we consider romantic love, for it is much more expansive than that. Beneath the surface, romance is the longing for significance. It represents many layers of the core of who we are. The story of our lives, our calling/vocation, the purpose we identify our very lives with is really the story of romance.
We either find ourselves running towards it in our broken and fragmented states, struggling for it in the midst of ordinary life, or running away from it because of fear, hurt, or betrayal. We’re driven by it all the same: Atheist, Jew, Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Spiritualist, Human.
To experience romance is to be fully human. To desire it is to be honest. To pursue it, is to be courageous. To hide from it, is to live in denial. To embrace it, is to drink deeply tasting the finest of what it means to be fully human.
Words of wisdom: Honor and respect the longing for romance both in your own heart and the hearts of others. Respect the profound sacredness of romance. Let your encounters with others, whether brief or enduring, be positive and enriching for you and others. Elevate your awareness of the centrality of romance in your life and enrich the quality of your life.
Musings in a plane over the Russian mountains after watching the Great Gatsby & L’amour Dure Trois Ans (Love lasts 3 years).