Try Vs. Decide…The Lameness of Trying or The Power of Deciding

Star Wars - The Exhibition

Image by Andres Rueda via Flickr

I am trying to lose weight.

I am trying to be a better spouse.

I am trying to make time for what’s truly important to me & pursue my dreams.

I am trying to be a kinder person.

I am trying to find a job.

I am trying to get over my ex.

I am trying to get over my past.

I try, I try, I try.  What’s implicit within “I am trying…?”  The acceptance of failure.  I may not lose weight, but at least I’m trying.  I am trying to workout but if work goes late, personal life pressures overtake me…I am trying to be a better husband, but if my wife treats me this way, or if I’m tired, or if my work demands this of me…how can I possibly be a better husband?  I’m Trying counts for something right?  Blah, blah, blah.

I already have a prebuilt acceptance of failure built right in for each ‘try.’  In the mind of trying, we’re successful if we tried, not if we actually accomplished what we really want to accomplish. Inherent within the mentality of the tryer is the belief that I’ve succeeded because I’ve tried.

Why???  It lies in how amazingly powerful my mind is, especially my subconscious or unconscious mind.  Indirectly, by trying, I’m giving my mind a command, an authorization that it’s ok to fail.

Look, trying is ok in some matters.

I will try to like brussel sprouts.

But I quickly discover once again that only a fool with maladjusted taste buds likes these little morsels of displeasure.  Now, I know that’s offensive to you brussel sprout lovers, but I doubt that one of the eight brussel sprout fans in the galaxy will ever actually read this blog.

Frankly my life won’t be any worse for not liking brussel sprouts. It will be better.  But, in matters of real significance trying in those critical areas that affect the quality of my life, I must decide.  You must DECIDE.

Have you ever decided with conviction that you needed to find a solution to something and then one day out of nowhere, the solution comes to you, maybe when you least expect it?  You weren’t searching for the solution at that moment, but because you decided a while back, your unconscious mind has been working behind the scenes to find an answer.  Once it’s found the answer and it has room to communicate (a moment when you’re not running on the hamster wheel, Stuck on the Hampster Wheel of Life?), then it will bring the solution to the forefront of your mind.

Are you ready to quit BS’ing your boss, your loved ones, and yourself?  Are you ready to leave behind the litany of excuses and justifications for trying in key areas of your life that you’ve had for weeks, months, years, or even decades?

If I’m ready, when it’s something I’m emotionally vested in, my conscious mind issues a command to my unconscious mind.  My unconscious mind dictates at least 95% of my behavior (more on this in another blog).  I must eat healthier, when compelled by a strong emotional desire, it will happen. I must create healthier boundaries and rhythms with work and personal lifeI must get over my ex.  The decision coupled with strong conviction will lead to the achievement of that desire.  The speed it happens depends on how complex the solution and how deep my conviction and passion for change.

Caution: Use moderate limits and wisdom when deciding, though those limits are much larger than you might imagine.   ‘I will fly without wings off the roof of a tall building because my dream has always been to fly.’  You foolish Brussel Sprout lover you.  ‘I will fall in love with Brad Pitt.’  You foolish Brussel Sprout lover you.  He’s in a weird pseudo partnership with Angelina. Quit such foolishness.  Your decisions have to be something controllable by you.  You can set boundaries on work (comment or email me if you struggle with that).  You can get over your ex.  You can create a new future, a new you.

Just as I command my mind when trying, I command my mind when deciding.   When I decide something with conviction and determination, my unconscious mind goes to work, and it’s amazingly resourceful. I have commanded my mind, move in this direction, find a solution, I must succeed. I am commanding it to find a solution, to be resourceful, to search relentless for ways of moving me in the direction I want it to go.  I rapidly or gradually create a whole new pathway neurologically that enables me to move in that direction (See Vision Board video-lightly touched on there).  I don’t get where I want to be overnight usually, but it can and will happen when I decide.

Two wise sages said:

Yoda: “Do or do not…there is no try.”

Jesus: “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” Matthew 5:37.

Tap into the hidden power of your mind.  Make the decision you’ve been needing to make with conviction today!

*Unconscious and disempowering agreements we’ve made with ourselves and others can be our deep rooted blocks, but they can be removed.  Same for limiting beliefs.

Challenge: What needs to shift in your life from “try” to DECIDE?”

Please post a comment or email me and let me know what decision you have made!

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5 thoughts on “Try Vs. Decide…The Lameness of Trying or The Power of Deciding

  1. First I must say I love Brussel Sprouts, they are yummy and wonderful. 🙂

    Second this blog post rocked!

    I really liked this:
    I already have a prebuilt acceptance of failure built right in for each ‘try.’ In the mind of trying, we’re successful if we tried, not if we actually accomplished what we really want to accomplish. Inherent within the mentality of the tryer is the belief that I’ve succeeded because I’ve tried.

    I had not thought about it like that, but its so true. I can think right now of instances in my own life where I have done just that.

  2. I agree, even in saying “try,” there is a level of uncertainty, insecurity and even damnation that I may have not even been conscientiously aware of until reading this post. I can think of a claim of TRY I made yesterday even, that now I am reevaluating. I agree that the subconscious mind holds much more power, negative or positive, than we give it credit for.

  3. Hi – I stumbled upon your blog through Twitter (we follow a few of the same folks here in Nashville, and your tweet about the post showed up). I LOVED this post. I’m a firm believer that there’s a lot of truth to the whole “you can do anything you set your mind to” mentality, and when you utilize the “try” method of thinking, you definitely are not setting your mind to achieve something. There’s of course always the risk of failure when we go after anything, but I think it’s wise to not set yourself up for failure from the beginning by even entertaining the idea that you might not achieve your goal. I really enjoyed reading this and perusing your blog a bit this morning.

  4. Totally Melanie…I appreciate your comment…there’s so much truth to the fact that we become what we think about…our thoughts are so powerful both for good & for bad…One of my favorite quotes:

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us…And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

    -Nelson Mandela quoting Marianne Williamson.

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